A Practical Guide to Reframing Emotions. How to Acknowledge, Shift, and Channel Your Emotions into Empowerment.
“The subconscious doesn’t distinguish sarcasm and jokes. It just accepts what it hears. That’s the power of words.” India. Arie
For those who lean toward pessimism, traditional affirmations may feel unrealistic or even dismissive of genuine emotions. The idea of simply repeating “positive” statements may not address underlying frustrations or deeply held concerns. Instead of forcing optimism, a more effective approach is to acknowledge emotions, shift them intentionally, and take meaningful action.
If affirmations have never resonated with you, try this five-step framework designed to work with your natural skepticism rather than against it.
1- Identify What You’re Feeling
Before attempting to shift your emotions, it’s important to name them accurately. Many people confuse thoughts or judgments with emotions. Instead of saying, “I feel like everything is falling apart,” pause and ask: What am I actually feeling?
Use a Feelings Wheel to pinpoint your emotions. Self-awareness lessens the intensity of denied or unrecognized emotions, making them easier to work with.
2- Determine How You’d Prefer to Feel
This doesn’t mean aiming for blind optimism. Identify a realistic, preferable emotional state—one that feels like a step in the right direction. If you’re feeling helpless, you don’t need to jump to “I feel empowered.” Instead, you can shift toward something more attainable, like “I feel supported.”
Naming a preferred feeling creates a pathway toward emotional regulation without invalidating your current state.
3- Apply the Formula: I Am Feeling → I Am Willing to Feel
This affirmation structure works because it acknowledges the present reality while opening space for change.
Example:
● “I am feeling rageful. I am willing to feel passionate.”
● “I am feeling hopeless. I am willing to feel grounded.”
Since affirmations often counter negative cognitions, this approach respects emotions while allowing for a natural shift.
4- Identify the Issue That Triggers You Most
Some people are deeply affected by housing instability due to childhood experiences, while others feel more triggered by doxxing of federal employees because they’ve experienced online harassment before. Identify what unsettles you most and why. Increase self-awareness and lessen the emotional charge of the trigger over time.
This step is not about rationalizing or diminishing your concerns it’s about understanding why certain issues hit harder than others.
5- Find a Movement That Addresses the Tension
Pessimism and frustration often manifest as physical tension. For example, if you notice tight shoulders, try this simple reset: inhale deeply as you lift your shoulders toward your ears, then exhale forcefully as you drop them down. Repeat a few times, allowing each exhale to soften tension. If your jaw feels clenched, try gently opening your mouth wide and releasing it with a sigh. Small movements like these help signal safety to the nervous system.
Transmute Pessimism
Pessimism isn’t inherently bad—it often comes from a place of deep care and concern. Try acknowledging emotions, shifting them intentionally, and releasing tension.